"There are always flowers for those who want to see them." - Henri Matisse

That is one of my favorite quotes.  At first blush it represents my love of flowers and the overall beauty of nature.  Nature inspires, rejuvenates and is soothing and calming.  

Some people can look at an object, a situation or a person and see ugliness, darkness and negativity.   That same "thing" can elicit joy, a sense of wonder and beauty to another person.  We're all different. The word flower itself can conjure up some negative emotions for people with severe allergies or elicit a negative memory associated with flowers.  

I view flowers as a positive thing, so I choose to believe that Matisse, as a painter, appreciated flowers and that this is a positive quote. When re-reading this quote, you could insert almost any noun or emotion and have it make sense.

We are the deciders, the dreamers, the makers.  We can choose the way we view our lives.  I choose to live mine with as much positivity that I can.  I choose to believe that everyone should get a second chance, a fair shake, a helping hand, a place to live, food to eat, justice and live happily ever after.  I choose to see flowers as a beautiful reminder of the universe and all its possibilities.  

I'm Snow Grateful

A few days ago I was clearing the snow on my driveway, as most everyone who has a driveway was doing that day.  It was raining and I thought I had better clear off the snow that had accumulated the night before.  I was afraid the several inches of snow that fell would freeze and my car would be trapped in our garage until Spring. In any case, because it was raining the snow pack was very heavy.  Fatigue set in quickly.  The rain soaked my coat and I was sweating profusely, but I was determined to clear the heavy wet snow before it froze and became ice.

As I started grumbling and speaking my frustrations out loud, I remembered that this was one of those times that gratitude was necessary.  I remember hearing someplace that gratitude is easy when life is going your way, but not so easy to find when it's not.  Whoever said that was so right about that.  You see,  I had started a while back...and then recently re-started a gratitude journal in hopes to bump up my positivity and happiness quotient during an emotional slump.   Here I was presented with a test.  Thankfully, I took the challenge.  So I stopped in the middle of the driveway, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, quieted my thoughts and searched my mind and soul for gratitude.

The weirdest thing I noticed was the silence beneath all the sound.  Below the sound of snowblowers and traffic, was the sound of my breath, the winter breeze, and the creaking of tree limbs under the weight of ice. Underneath that was a stillness... and in that stillness was where I found gratitude.

A pure realization that I was "just darn lucky" to be here swept over me.  The cold breeze that blew icy rain across my face felt somehow like something I had never felt before-a curiosity rather than a burden.   I felt lucky to have my health and my body...lucky to be warm...to have a driveway and a shovel to clean it.  I felt lucky to have a home with heat,  and a relatively safe place to live.

Don't get me wrong.  It was still work.  I still felt wet, cold and tired, but my emotional attitude changed about the situation.   I still had to stop a few times, catch my breath and thank my Maker for all that is good in this world, but I was living in that moment...really alive, not looking forward in time, angry at the weather and wishing for different circumstances.  There was a distinct positive change in me.

In the past I've found myself endlessly running negative "what if" scenarios in my brain based on fact, experience, as well as supposition.  While shoveling snow in the rain may seem banal and unremarkable, for me it was an "aha moment".    There has always been doubt in me about the veracity of the power of positive thinking and the whole "happy thoughts" business.  It's Pollyanna mentality has always been compelling to me and at times excruciatingly annoying.  I'd always been taught to be grateful, but just like I said, it can be tough when things aren't going your way.

That day was a reminder (I am one who needs them constantly) of the gifts that life has given me, because things could easily be a lot worse.  That day I found myself with  so may things to be thankful for, I was able to finish my task with energy left over. (I'm actually still sore from all that shoveling-and I'm no slouch when it comes to working out.)

So hats off to the "happy thoughts" crowd and to the power of positive thinking.  Hopefully I don't forget, but I'm certain that if I do I'll receive another reminder.

You Make A Difference - Even If You Don't Know It

Since today is Valentine's Day,  I'd like to share a simple, powerful event that happened in my life.  Share the love.    :)


When one recognizes and respects the individual worth and contribution of a person, one can change the world.

A couple years ago, someone came up to me and said, "You saved my life."  I'll call to this person Jude.  My immediate reaction internally was that of surprise, disbelief and "what could I have done that was that important."  Outwardly, I was just plain speechless.  With further explanation, I was told that a project I had kickstarted, rekindled hope and faith in Jude's life and that I had come at a time when days were dark and desperate.  After getting over my shock and listening....really listening, I realized the truth and sincerity in Jude's words.  This was not someone who said things like this to stroke a person's ego.  I could tell that this was difficult and confessional. I realized at that moment just how fragile we can be as people and how much of an impact we can have in what we do and how we treat others.

I am lucky.  I got a glimpse of how I made a positive impact in someone's life.  Most people will never find out.  Sometimes the simple act of a smile or a simple gesture of good will can bring sunshine into an otherwise dark day.   So share the love today and if it's possible, tell someone how they made your life better.  Thanks Jude.  You changed my life too.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Your Community Leaders: Empowering People and Creating Community Investment

During the 2008 and 2012 elections, Barack Obama's community organizing background was mocked and ridiculed, at times it was insinuated that it didn't carry enough weight to even be considered as an experience for the now 2nd term President.  I dare say that this "ground game" of community organizing was probably one of the keys to his success.  The ability to mobilize both large and small groups of people towards a common goal takes nerve, tenacity, perseverance and vision.  In most instances, these mobilized "armies", large and small, are volunteers who believe so strongly in their cause that they are willing to face anger, rejection and even disappointment on a regular basis.  The ability to rally such dedicated workers is an asset and a gift that successful community leaders possess.

While I don't claim to understand how the Obama campaign worked their magic, I can say that I have been witness to community organizing that has resulted in works that were thought to be almost impossible to accomplish in the small community I live in.  While these works were not globe changing in scope, they took one more step in the direction of change from the status quo, which in the cases that I refer to isn't a bad thing.  Getting it done came down to a few incredibly passionate, hard working people, willing to put their noses to the grind stone.  They not only told people that things would happen, but showed them things would happen through their perserverance and accomplishment - one step at a time.  Each small step taken towards that goal created momentum and a list of successes for those people that turned skepticism into hope and hope into reality.  In the situations that I refer to, it started with an individual.  Someone with an idea.  Someone who could accomplish those ideas, rally people and motivate them.  Of course there had to be followers.  I have been a follower as well as a "lone nut", as Derek Sivers call them in his TED talk.   Having played in these roles, I do believe that one person can make a difference and become  a leader.   One person can start the ball rolling, but the dedication of others are needed to keep it going.  So how can one influence people to rally around a cause?

One does not attain influence by "lording over others", but by empowering others.  Acknowledging a person's strengths or helping people find their strengths, is critical in empowering and sustaining volunteers.  Becoming a good listener, as well as being genuinely interested in people, is an incredible asset in this.  I've discovered that time spent (and it does take a long time) in this area helps foster investment.  Discovering their strengths, and in turn their weaknesses, allows an organization to correctly place and motivate people.  In business terms this perhaps sounds as easy as an interview.  In business, it can be, but when it comes to volunteer work, one must delve deeper.  Meeting the needs of the individual can be just as important as the mission of the organization.  Volunteers are asked to work for the sake of that organization's mission, without monetary compensation.  They are asked to donate their time, their talent or other resources to their cause.  People must believe that the time they take from their day and their family is worth it.  This can only be true, if it is made so.  This is the gift that community leaders have.  They find out what makes their mission "worth it" to an individual, how that fits the organization, and then helps the volunteer achieve their objectives within the organization's framework.  This in turn helps motivation, morale, and volunteers feel like they are receiving a good return of investment.  Empowerment helps create other community leaders and helps make your organization more attractive to others, allowing your organization and its mission to flourish.

A Look Back - Part 5 (Finally!)

This is the final installment of a short series.  The intent is to keep these posts brief.  You can read parts 1-4 in the archive.  Thanks for following me on this continuing journey.  :)

PART 5

Pax
Maria B. Davis

It is now 17 years after I made that fateful decision to "stay home" and I am now into the 7th year of this journey of re-discovery.  My "traditional" life really didn't turn out to be all that traditional.  Perhaps no such thing really exists or ever really did.   I am often away, during the day, while my kids are at school, to the dismay of our cat.  My expectations of youth were changed by time and experience, resulting in a current life that I never thought I would have.  

I only have a few years left with my children living at home.  Being present and in the moment for them is important to me.  They, and my husband, are the reason I left my prior life behind-and for the better I must say.  I struggle daily with balancing my family life with the demands of my community of friends and associates.  On most days life is good.  On some days it is incredibly wonderful.  On some days it is horrendous...but I suspect everyone's life is a bit like that.  Now, when someone asks me what I do, I just may answer:  I am an artist, a graphic designer, a sword fighting elf/pirate, community organizer and mom.  I may also add that I am often distracted by bright shiny objects...or a really good project.

A Look Back - Part 4

This is the fourth installment of a short series.  The intent is to keep the blog entries brief.  You can read parts 1, 2 and 3 in the archive.

PART 4

Madonna & Child
Maria B. Davis

Let's jump back to my kids and the reason I started my journey of re-discovery, community volunteering and organizing. I enjoyed and still enjoy caring for my children.  I'm glad that I have been there for their first steps, their first words and many other "firsts" in their life.  As I watched them grow from infancy to elementary school, I became keenly aware that they would eventually grow up and leave home to continue their own life journey.  They are my world, and I hoped, and still do today, that someday they would have their own children who would be their world.  When my last child entered elementary school,  I decided that in order to take advantage of opportunities that might arise in the future, planning and doing needed to start now rather than later.  I wasn't even sure who I was anymore.  Wishes and dreams that I held long ago were no longer the same and this journey of re-discovery developed by simply "doing" and figuring out just what I enjoyed or didn't.  I did, however, know that I wanted my community to be a better place for my family to work, play and live in.  That became a mission.  Sometimes I am paid.  Many times I am not.  This, although at times, a difficult aspect of my life,  has allowed me the flexibility to be fairly independent creatively as well as given me flexibility of time.  I chose to be the main caregiver to my children.  In choosing this, I have given up things, but gained so much more.   At times I have failed miserably.  I have had projects that have taken so much time that it created disharmony in my family which was never, and is never, my intention.  I've made many mistakes and had my successes.  Time can be, and I believe is, a person's most valuable gift to someone.  It goes forever forward and never back.  Once given it cannot be undone.  Many of my regrets live in time away from my family.  I hope not to accumulate more as I serve them and my community. 

A Look Back - Part 3

This is the third part in a short series.  The intent is to try (not sure I did it this time) to keep the blog entries brief.  You can read parts 1 and 2 in the archive.

PART 3

Face
Maria B. Davis

I re-discovered several things about myself - like how driven I can be.  When I believe in something, I am stubbornly loyal and work towards that end.  I tend to be a workaholic.  I am a self proclaimed "generalist",  learning about a wide range of subjects and sharing that information with others.  I have a knack for "creating something from nothing".  This knack, as it turns out, is a running theme in my life that I only discovered in retrospection.  So many times in my life I was given the charge and latitude to mold and create my own opportunities as I believed they should or could be.  During those years, I had, perhaps arguably, created an enviable portfolio of experience.  I worked harder than I think I had ever in my entire life.  I volunteered heavily in my community, even helping to found a couple non-profit organizations.  I was an exhibiting artist, an event producer and director, with events ranging from small fundraisers to large events meant to attract thousand from around the region.  I even learned how to swordfight and with my fellow swordfighters held demonstrations both inside and outside our community.  

The last few years have been a productive period, full of new and varied experiences.  My circle of associates has enlarged to include those involved in politics and government, retired individuals, tech geeks, performers, artists and business owners.  Unfortunately, I found that my family life suffered.  I had gotten lured into the idea of trying to outdo myself.  I had also unwittingly trapped myself in a game of community politics and forgotten the reason I had started my journey.  I continued to carry the insecurity of not holding a "9-5" job.  No matter how many projects, how many part-time jobs, no matter how long and hard I worked, there was always a sense that my time was somehow not as valuable as someone who worked on a "regular" basis.   I even felt it when I was working part-time 20 hours a week, running to get my kids, taking care of their needs and then working into the wee hours of the morning to get my community projects done.  Many times I was just expected to just accomplish tasks in my volunteer projects, without being asked.    It had gotten to the point where my productivity seemed to signal to those around me that I had too much time on my hands when in reality it was tearing my life apart.  I tried to pass this off as something that didn't affect me, even though off hand comments made me cringe and many times I felt disrespected.  I value my volunteer work.  It contributes to the quality of life in my community, creates investment in it,  encourages social innovation, and it can be time intensive.    I am always grateful to those who acknowledge time as an important investment and I try to acknowledge that investment by people as well.   Still, every time someone introduced themselves and said,  "Hi my name is (insert name here).  I'm a (insert paid position here).  What do you do?",  all my answers, although true, did not express the breadth of who I am and what I do.  When I worked in the corporate world it was simple to say where I worked, who I worked for and what specific tasks I did.  My job was what took the vast majority of my day.  Currently that time is filled with a multitude of different things, different places, many different people and diversely different tasks.  I guess I just haven't figured out a way to succinctly state what I do, probably because much of what I do overlaps with who I am and that's where my purpose exists.   Someone once looked at me quizzically in a meeting and said, "So what is it exactly that you do?"  Giggles started and someone chimed, "The question is not what she does, it's what doesn't she do.".  I smiled sheepishly, was a bit flattered, but felt like an odd duck without a name.